“BUT YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND… I TRIED TO SAVE HIM!” This outburst arose out of marital frustration and due to my question, “Why do you seem to be attracted to needy men?” I’m not a psychiatrist or the son-of-a -psychiatrist, but I’m smart enough to know that marrying someone because they have a need is no way to have a successful marriage. A few hours later, her husband arrived for his appointment, all cheery and “on the road again.” He had all the answers to everything. Although overconfident, this guy made a revealing and remarkable statement when asked what attracted him to his wife. After a short pause his said, “You know, I think I get off on the power thing.” When I asked what that meant to him, he responded, “I guess its a challenge to see if I can conquer women; all kinds and shapes,” he laughed. My astute analysis and illustrious counseling did not keep this marriage from a bad ending.
Pulling a woman through the dirt by her hair may have been the method used by neanderthal men, but in civilized society it “ain’t gonna work.” When she finally recovers her senses, the conquering man will suddenly know how much power she has. The seduction game ends badly because its a game. And, for the woman, trying to change him or, “save” him, is a form of seduction and becomes a conqueror’s delight. At first blush, she may seem like a weak damsel in distress, easy prey for conquering, but ….
You can’t be a simpleton by dismissively calling it a Mars and Venus conflict. When Jesus said to “Love the Lord your God,” and added, “your neighbor as you love yourself,” you could change the word neighbor to wife or husband. The Apostle Paul, put it this way: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and GAVE ….” To the wife he says, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, AS UNTO THE LORD.” (Ephesians 5:22 & 25) This thing called MARRIAGE MUST BE A JOINT EFFORT!
The modern day movement to create chaos in America has bored its filthy fingers into the political system through the feminist philosophy of dividing and promoting gender based distinctions. [My opinion, of course.] Marriage shouldn’t be based on me, myself and I, nor should it be solely on sexual attraction as our culture seems to define it. Perhaps doing so is why we have more than a 50% divorce rate. I know of one woman who has been married more than 8 times (eight that I know of). It’s not unusual to meet men who have had multiple marriages, as well. Our degradative culture has invaded the Christian community as well, to the point where divorce is brushed off like dandruff from our shoulder.
THE FOUNDATIONS HAVE BEEN FOUND TO BE DEFECTIVE. JESUS gave the proper example when He took the towel, even though He was God Almighty, and was given all power by the Father, He knelt before his disciples and washed their feet.