RONNIE MILSAP SANG, “Please don’t tell me how the story ends.” It’s about the end of a love affair, but one of the lines caught my attention when THINKING OF CAREGIVERS. It says,
“Just let me go on loving and believing – ‘till it’s over.
Please don’t tell me how the story ends.”
Children of the elderly or spouses, are susceptible to the pathology of depression, guilt, anger, fatigue, arguing, insomnia, anxiety, resentment and exhaustion when acting as CAREGIVER. In fact, being in the assisted living business, it has been necessary for my administrator to ask a caregiver to take some time off due to their being overwhelmed. The constant drip-drip of demands and activities of daily living such as toileting, dressing, eating, ambulating, medication, etc., start to bring on frustration exhibited by impatience and yelling at the patient.
As a general rule, caregivers don’t recognize their mental and emotional anguish. The sad thing is that in many cases the caregiver will take on the symptoms of the person they are caring for – even death. Or, they start to neglect their own care and health.
Caregivers are givers and hesitate to admit their exasperation and guilt. Little by little a dark resentment gathers steam in their heart and mind. Too often they will say, “I don’t know if there is a God, but if there is, he sure doesn’t know what I’m going through!”
To caregivers I say, “if you really, really want to, you could find a way to take a day or two off – frequently! You may need sleep. You may need to eat a quiet, healthful meal with someone. You may need to talk with a friend. Mothers of small children should talk with an adult … frequently. Seeking out professional help should be considered.”
YES. YOU. CAN! If you want to.
Here are seven things to think about from the pen of Paul.
“(1) Don’t worry about anything; (2) instead pray about everything.
(3) Tell God what you need,
(4) thank him for all he has done. (5) Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.
(6) His peace will guard your hearts and minds
(7) as you live in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7
“Does Jesus care when my heart is pained
Too deeply for mirth or song,
As the burdens press, and the cares distress,
And the way grows weary and long?
“Oh, yes, He cares, I know He cares,
His heart is touched with my grief;
When the days are weary, the long nights dreary,
I know my Savior cares.”
(Frank E. Graef)
“God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have … plenty left over to share with others.”
2 Corinthians 9:8 (nlt)
CAREGIVERS ARE GOD’S HELPERS AND NEED OUR LOVE AND SUPPORT!
Write It On My Heart 
As my writing career continues in stops and stutters due to caring for an ailing wife, as well as a long distance anxious care for mom (I cannot be both places at once), I readily relate to the weight of difficulties pressing upon care givers. Also, two years of my life were spent supervising eight residents at a Family Care home in N.C. where the joys and sorrows of care-giving landed heavily upon my young shoulders. Yet at its root, there is fulfillment of our sweet Lord’s constant call to do precisely this, in love. Perhaps bearing in mind the import and result of service to God, through caring for others, is a good mind-set for caregivers to strive to retain.
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